Monday, January 13, 2014

thinking is never a good thing..

This weekend has been a eye opener. I learned some things on Friday from my roommate. Turns out she may or may not be staying in logan. She is also my landlord. When I hear news i tend to let my mind run wild with "what if's" then i'm just fucked.

Today i was at work sweeping the floor and i about had a panic attack. out of no where i started thinking...what if she doesn't stay? Am i gonna have to move? Do i go back home? My parents barely have enough room for my nieces where do i sleep? where do i put all my shit? Am i gonna live in my truck again? Do i put money away? Do i have enough time to save money? I ended up sitting on a chair at a table and just took some deep breaths and counted to 20.

I still haven't found a solution to my "what if's" but, my dad has the day off tomorrow and he has answers for everything. I just hope he doesnt say "just come home" blek.

I'm so grateful for my family. I have to say that having a large family benefits big time. No way in hell will i have as many kids as my mom had (i dont want any) but i'm glad we are all best of friends. sometimes. (; My sisters are bitches but they have my back no matter what happens. i'm mostly thankful for carrie, she's obviously my favie. (shh) she knows everything about me and i'm her shadow. I talked to her tonight for like 10 min and just in that 10 min i found more clarity than i have all weekend. she knows when i'm freakin out and knows how to say things so i will understand. <3 maybe if i have to move ill just squeeze on into her house ha ha. seriously though.

p.s. this quote is perf.