Do you believe in timing? I do.
In 18 days I will have reached one whole year without my sweet Bubba. This last year has been so fucking hard to say the least. I read my blog posts from last year and I am happy to say that I am doing so much better than I was. I was such a lost soul. I didn’t know who to talk to, or listen to. One single person should not have to lose that many important souls in one year. In one lifetime. But it happens and I have yet to find the purpose.
Even though I am in a better place than I was last year it does not in any way mean that I hold the answers I was looking for. But, I did get something that I wished for every day. Some days I would scream this wish and became desperate for this wish even. Then, when I settled down it came. Bubba gave me Kyle and Bubba gave Kyle me. Kyle has been in my life for a few years but not like he is right now. Our love came out of nowhere and I wouldn’t trade it for anything you have to offer.
I believe in timing. I believe that Kyle opened his eyes at just the right moment…just as we were both about to lose control of life. Bubba brought two broken souls together who unconsciously fell completely in love and knew exactly how to make the other happy. This love is intoxicating, liberating, joyful, playful, strong, real. I begged…daily. I begged for someone to find me and help me find myself. I wanted to love someone again. They say you can’t love someone when you aren’t able to love yourself. The pieces fell together so beautifully and I make sure Kyle knows how much I cherish him. He is my life. He is my best friend. He makes me find new ways of loving myself again even when I fight it.
I have one hell of a guardian angel looking out for me. Lots of things happen in my life and most of the time I just pick it up and go on with life. Other times though I know it’s my Bub and I just have to take a second and be grateful and smile at the sky. This whole thing makes me so incredibly emotional but it’s mostly happy. Kyle saved me and there is never a day I don’t feel love. We are exactly what the other needs and I believe that others see the major change in both of us individually and we have Bubba to thank for that!
Thank you friend. I’ll be seeing you.