Thursday, January 30, 2014

P.M.S is an actual thing..

Today we are going to talk about periods and it's horrible side effects. So, with that..I learned this week that I have never p.m.s'ed. like ever...maybe i'm lying but this week was sheer HELL.

I started my period a couple days ago and rolled my eyes and grabbed a tampon with no "thank you's" to our lovely mother nature. apparently she didn't like me this month because the next few days were aweful. You always hear stories about girls that are evil during their cycles, emotional girls, or girls that are the same as they were last week, happy. I used to be the last story. 

by the end of the second day of my period, i was bawling. i literally thought that i was dying. i have never been in so much pain in my life. AND to make it better i was at work. now, i work in a group home with all ladies. and i was the only one on their cycle. weird right?  looks like they might get a better month than me. (i had enough pain for 40) I legit had cramps for over 3 hours, took a midol 30 min before the pain started like they say so that i didnt have to suffer horribly (no diff from what i always do). no, it still came. i called my mom bawling and she said to take another one if it didnt stop soon..fuuuuu. well, i can assure you the pain was still there. so, i took 2 exedrine menstral pills an hour later and even that did nothing. i finally got to go home.

i laid down, i put random hot shit on my stomach, i rubbed my stomach, i drank sprite, i even prayed for forgiveness. nothing. the universe must have been listening when i laughed at my older sister a couple years ago for crying over her cramps. sorry beth. i super take it back.

the next day i woke up and right when i did i was in such a crabby mood. said 2 words to my roommate. didn't pet cute little penny, ate breakfast and was rude the whole day. work blew, i was with 2 new staff and a difficult client from the home. by the end of my shift i was so frustrated that i cried all night. same thing the next day. only i probably said 3 more words. work went by really smooth but i was so glad to get off and go home. i showered for 2 hours and most of it i just stood there. 

then today came. there was no clear sky, no sun, no warm weather. but, no more blood and i was like all of a sudden like myself. i joked around at work and had a great time chatting with regular customers i didn't have a damn thing to complain about. 

so, i would say this is my first week ever pms-ing. i've never felt like that ever. i always go about my days as usual and have a little pain here and there but easily redirected with meds. i hope this was karma for making fun of my sister (LOL oops) because if i have to be a regular with this i'd rather chop my head off. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

thinking is never a good thing..

This weekend has been a eye opener. I learned some things on Friday from my roommate. Turns out she may or may not be staying in logan. She is also my landlord. When I hear news i tend to let my mind run wild with "what if's" then i'm just fucked.

Today i was at work sweeping the floor and i about had a panic attack. out of no where i started thinking...what if she doesn't stay? Am i gonna have to move? Do i go back home? My parents barely have enough room for my nieces where do i sleep? where do i put all my shit? Am i gonna live in my truck again? Do i put money away? Do i have enough time to save money? I ended up sitting on a chair at a table and just took some deep breaths and counted to 20.

I still haven't found a solution to my "what if's" but, my dad has the day off tomorrow and he has answers for everything. I just hope he doesnt say "just come home" blek.

I'm so grateful for my family. I have to say that having a large family benefits big time. No way in hell will i have as many kids as my mom had (i dont want any) but i'm glad we are all best of friends. sometimes. (; My sisters are bitches but they have my back no matter what happens. i'm mostly thankful for carrie, she's obviously my favie. (shh) she knows everything about me and i'm her shadow. I talked to her tonight for like 10 min and just in that 10 min i found more clarity than i have all weekend. she knows when i'm freakin out and knows how to say things so i will understand. <3 maybe if i have to move ill just squeeze on into her house ha ha. seriously though.

p.s. this quote is perf.